Is it Enough

Most days I ask myself what have I done today. I feel exhausted but yet what have I accomplished? My house is always messy and I feel like I am always cleaning. There are projects that I keep telling myself I will do but never seem to have the time to do. But at the end of the day, I still feel like I haven’t done much.

Our day starts with me feeding and changing my kids. We play, I try to drink my coffee while they get into everything they are not supposed to. I have a million toys but for some reason they are not what they want to play with. They have a ton of space in their rooms and the living room but for some reason want to go in the kitchen at all times (even though it’s gated off). They always find a way to bulldoze the gate. I never have a moment to sit. If it’s not one kid it is the other.

How is it that I am always busy, but never feel like I have done anything? Is it society telling us that raising children (which is freaking hard!) is not enough? Is it pressure that we put on ourselves to overextend every waking hour? We should be doing this and this and the list goes on?

Even if I do not always feel this way, I have to tell myself I am doing everything. The most. I am taking care of two humans, that always want to hurt themselves or cause chaos. I am raising two beautiful boys that could become something so amazing in life. I am meeting every single need and want they have. Even if I do not feel enough, to them, I know they are crazy about me. They adore me. I am their momma. If I slow down and stay in this moment, if I remind myself, being a mother is enough, it helps me know that my day was enough. Maybe I didn’t change the world today, but I was my children’s world. I fed them, changed them, taught them, made them laugh, and cared for every tear. That is enough. To be a mother is everything.